Of All Sorts
by yaoininja
Summary: “Edward, may I take your coat for you,” he said, gesturing towards the brown coat he wore...“I'm not a damn woman colonel, I can put my coat up myself.” he said, then bit his tongue. “But thank you for the offer.” EdxRoy, Pure Fluff for now


**Yay, new fanfiction! I haven't updated in like, forever and I know that makes me a bad person. DAMN ME. Also, I recently acquired a laptop which makes it a bitch because you have to use herculean strength to press the vowels for some...odd...reason. Anywho, please enjoy the story and review, dammit xD**

Ed sighed and ruffled his hand through his hair. He was never going to figure this out. He ran his thumb countless times over the edge of the book, as though that would help him understand the material better.

"I just don't get it!"

Al just shook his head and smiled. He sat on the opposite side of the room, but he knew all too well what his brother was looking at. He found it somewhat amusing, but for the most part it was just too cute, in a disturbing kind of way. For the past few weeks, the elder Elric had been rifting through every kind of book, all pertaining to the same subject: homosexual sex, and all related paraphernalia. Since Al had finally driven his brother out of the denial that he was in love with a certain general, he had successfully found an excuse to avoid confronting said object of desire, by staying glued to anatomy books and erotic novels.

"This makes no sense, why in the world would this feel good? On paper it just sounds disgusting, not to mention unsanitary, and oh for all that is good and right what is that!?" Ed mostly mumbled to himself.

Al rolled his eyes and tried his best to focus on his own book, but Ed's unsatisfied grunts and sudden bursts of frustration kept him from doing so, so he opted for something that needed to be done. He set down his book and gave a loud sigh, hoping to get Ed's attention, but to no avail.

"Brother, I think this has gone on long enough. I'm sure by now you understand the dynamics of it, or at least how it works, so get off your butt and go talk to the General." he said matter-of-factly, then resumed reading his book, mostly to seem nonchalant.

Ed just gaped at him wide-eyed and opened mouth, closed his mouth and opened it again as if to say something, then sat back in his seat.

"I can't."

"Yes, you can."

"No. I can't."

"_Brother_..."

"_No_, Al! There's no way!"

Al looked at him with a sudden glare, then sighed again.

"Fine."

As Ed stood in front of Roy's door, all he could think of was how mean his brother was to kick him out and take his house keys, telling him he couldn't return until he straightened things out with the general. He had planned on running off and renting a hotel until morning, but Al took all his money, probably suspecting he would do so.

"Damn, what to do..." he mused to himself, then spun around and leaned against the side of the house next to the general's white wash door.

"Stupid Colonel, always complaining that I don't call him General...he'll always be a colonel to me, no matter what, hell he could even become Fuhrer and I'd still call him that..." he chuckled lightly to himself, as the image of Roy standing on top of his desk barking orders at people and laughing maniacally.

"Is that so?"

Ed spun around so fast that his pony tail whipped him in the face, and he stared wide-eyed up at Roy. He instantly turned ten shades of red and a deep scowl appeared on his face.

"What the hell, pervert! Don't you know just standing there and listening to someone talking is pretty creepy, stalker!" he yelled to hide his embarrassment. Roy just stared at him with a slight smile and blinked.

"If I do remember correctly, this is _my_ house and I was simply enjoying you rant to yourself, Edward," he said smoothly. Ed blushed at the use of his full name, and turned away mumbling something along the lines of 'whatever' and 'bastard'.

"Besides, Alphonse told me you were coming."

Ed fell forward and his forehead slumped against the side of the brick house.

"Dammit...Al..."

Roy just chuckled and Ed felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Al called and said you wanted to talk, but I have no idea what about. Please come in, Ed, despite what you may think my home is not a torture chamber."

At the touch on his shoulder, Ed jumped slightly and blushed. Roy was touching him! And he wanted him to come into his house? Oh god, if he did go in there it _was_ going to be torture. Just being like this, images from his erotic novels were popping into his head. He may be over puberty, but the hormones were still flowing. He squeezed his eyes tight and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He could do this, he had _some_ self control, after all.

He turned around to see Roy smiling warmly at him, and already he felt his self control draining. He walked into the house and whistled lowly, taking in the surprisingly immaculate sight of the General's house.

"This is a pretty nice place you got here, Colonel," Ed said, looking around. Roy chuckled from behind him as he closed the front door.

"Edward, may I take your coat for you," he said, gesturing towards the brown coat he wore. Since returning from the gate, Ed had developed a more sophisticated style that he had not possessed in his youth. Ed snorted and lightly batted away the Generals hand.

"I'm not a damn woman colonel, I can put my coat up myself." he said, then bit his tongue. "But thank you for the offer."

Roy seemed somewhat surprised by the latter half of his sentence, raising his eyebrows then shrugging. "By all means," he said, doing a half bow while gesturing towards the coat rack and smirking. Ed stomped over and put his coat up (_almost_ having to stand on his toes, bastard) and decided to kick off his shoes as as well. He sauntered over to the couch and plopped down. He smirked at Roy, but then made a small squeak when Roy walked over as well and set down hard next to Ed, causing him to bounce slightly on the cushion.

"So, Edward, what is is that you needed to speak with me so urgently about?" Roy cooed, turning to face Ed as he placed his arm on the back of the couch behind Edward's back. Ed swallowed hard and looked away, flushed.

'_Oh God, Ed, you better get some control before you mount him right here on his couch.' _he thought feverishly to himself.

_'I must have done something to anger the sex gods, they are punishing me. Taunting me with what they know I can't have, bastards. He's sitting here right next to me and I can't even do anything. He's so gorgeous, and he knows it too, what an ass. Wait, he said something didn't he? I was too busy considering different sacrifices I could give to the sex __gods and I didn't hear what he said. Now he thinks I'm crazy, great, he just keeps scrunching his eyebrows like he's trying to figure out if I'm seizing or not. I think I am. He's probably trying to find a polite way to throw me out of here, what a considerate jerk. God I just want to die, I'm acting like a teenage girl and oh my god I still haven't answered his question. Maybe-'_

"Ed!"

"Ed jumped suddenly and looked at Roy, who was looking at him with a concerned expression. Ed was wide eyed and speechless, that is until he blinked a few times and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Bastard!" he screeched, shoving Roy lightly. "You scared the crap outta me!" Roy just huffed and rose an offending eyebrow, looking at him quizzically.

"Excuse me? You completely zoned out, it took three times of me calling your name to get through that head of yours," he said, lightly tapping on Ed's skull. Ed's eyes rose at this.

'_He was calling my name...'_

This was no time for perverted fantasies, he had business to attend to.

"Colonel," Ed began, but was cut off.

"Ed, I'd like to think we're friends, please call me Roy," he said smiling warmly. He then leaned forward to brush a strand of hair out of Ed's eyes and tuck it behind his ear, letting his hand linger there for a moment. "Edward..."

Ed couldn't take it anymore, this was to much.

"Oh, fuck it. I love you, you bastard!" he yelled nonchalantly, blushing thoroughly and fighting the urge to look away from the man in front of him. Roy looked shocked for a moment, then smiled warmly and leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Ed and holding him tight, nuzzling his neck and taking in his scent.

"Took you long enough."


End file.
